And the meathead speaketh. I really hate to say it, but I find myself begging for Mac v PC.

Apple has completely confused me here. Is this some sort of attempt at mass appeal? I thought that Mac users and Mac people were supposed to be more sophisticated and technologically advanced. The simple to use motif comes across loud and clear though. To me that means you can’t be trying to appeal to your target audience with someone who has never heard of a camera phone or say a Motorola KRZR. It’s not exactly uncommon knowledge that combining at least a few of the items this guy used to keep in his purse was pretty simple. It raises a lot of questions in my mind. Whatever demographic it is that they are trying to relate to here shouldn’t be attracted, they should be offended. In fact, this guy should be offended that they would let him do a commercial like this. It’s not his fault he’s a meathead. (more…)

A tie in advertisement that appeals to 9 million people and manages to prove the Toyota is “THE LAWGIVA!!!”

Well, as a loyal Toyota customer the first thing I had to do after seeing this commercial was go out and get a copy of World of Warcraft. I mean what a good way to advertise a video game as well as one of it’s new features (voice chat native to the game) and not have to foot the bill. Obviously this company knew something that I didn’t, so I decided to give their game a shot. Ok, not really. I’ve been an MMO addict for about 10 years now and there’s no way I would miss the most popular. I do hope that Toyota got them to foot at least a little bit of the bill. I mean, 9 million (or maybe even 10 now) accounts at 12.95 or more a month? Yikes. (more…)

And in the process of doing so incur a lifetime of identity uncertainty.

Well would you look at those kids go? Rhythm, style, a flair for the dramatic, over-priced accessories, and the Parliament-Funkadelic urging them on. What we don’t see here is what’s going on behind the scenes. In these little boys’ heads, there is a crisis of epic proportions brewing. These children, if no one noticed, are white. Everyone knows that white people can’t dance. But here these children are dancing away like they don’t even know the color of their own skin. (more…)

The music of Regina Spektor strikes a familiar tone in this incredibly original piece by JCPenney.

I’m really not quite sure what to say about this one other than wow. So, instead of even talking about this commercial I will instead engage you in a lengthy discussion about Stafford shirts. They are fantastic. You get a shirt that looks almost as good as those more expensive designer shirts and it’s even machine washable. What a deal. Did I mention they are cheap and come in more colors than you even know exist? (more…)

A really creepy look at why some things are best left unrepeated.

This one is just bizarre and makes me unhappy in the pants. Obviously this is a remake of the famous commercial originally done by Kate Walsh. This dude (no idea who he is) had another one where he talked about being a hammer and blah blah blah. Running parallel to this was a spot featuring Kate Walsh that more than likely was more successful to whomever this guy’s hammer one was for various reasons. (more…)

The names a little long and they unfortunately don’t give the proper spelling, but in all reality this commercial is a winner.

Cellular Diner: I’m a student.

Excellent, I’m not, but please do go on. Though before you do I should say I really don’t appreciate the fact that you sound like you are either eating or the most condescending person ever. I will give you the benefit of the doubt and go with eating. In the future try to spit it out before you start shooting. (more…)

But that doesn’t stop them from getting behind the wheel.

Imagine that you, the consumer, have been given a car with magical properties. One of these is that you can predict when and where you are going to get into an accident. Sounds like perfect accident prevention right? Wrong. Audi owners prove that not only do they ignore the warnings and just go on with their trip, but also subject their children to the inclement disasters as well. (more…)

But then again, neither can any of the other cellular carriers

Oh how special! Yet another cell phone carrier wants to offer me two combined lines with 1000 anytime minutes for 49.99*! I’m absolutely ecstatic about this! I guess that was obvious from my overuse of exclamation marks though. I’m really dying for a company to just drop the bs and give us what we want: unlimited minutes, text, photo and video (you know, romance on the road baby) without catches. But no, instead they insist on making advertisements and spending millions instead of running 2 second spots that just flash on the screen “VERIZON NOW WITH UNLIMITED MINUTES 49.99*, 9.99* PER ADDITIONAL LINE”. (more…)

Gum that wants the terrorists to win.

Beware the owners of Extra gum. You might think I am talking about the guy who eats the gum (note that he has a whole pack, not just a piece). That’s because it was just handed to him by the guy ahead of him in line. Didn’t see it? I have a little demonstrative for you here. (more…)

Mercedes asks us a series of questions. Well, I have a series of answers.

Why did we devote so many years to creating the new C-Class?

Well this is an easy one. It takes a long time to create a 2.1 terabyte digital toy that you can use to create misleading commercials with. But more on that later. It’s been 7 years since your last “model” of chassis the W203. In terms of a car update cycle this isn’t atypical at all. Most car manufacturers run 5-7 year product cycles and while this puts you on the conservative side, it’s nothing abnormal. (more…)

Tonight I bring you David Bowie’s car. It’s pretty freaky man.

So that was a neat commercial. The music (which is some cover of the song Pressure Drop) gets a little grinding by the end, but all in all very creative and a fresh concept. Sorry for the mildly choppy quality. It’s actually my first attempt at home made video capture/embedding and for once I feel like a computer novice. I used a tripod and a digital camera and then about 20 different editors to make the clip. Not bad eh? Now let me ask you this: do you feel like watching this 3 times back to back in exchange for not having to see any other commercial during a show? Because that is exactly what happened on Heroes tonight. We watched the same commercial, over and over and over and over again. Same music, slightly different plot, but the repetitive music that by the second solid minute (the full run time was 2:35 each break for those fans wondering) you wonder if the speed you took earlier was playing tricks on you or whether this is really happening. (more…)

The US Army’s $200m advertising campaign reminds me of those $16,000 toilet seats we are always hearing about. Furthermore, does John Madden do the writing for McCann?

Webster defines strong as having great physical power.
As having moral or intellectual power.
As striking or superior of its kind.

Sounds about right. At this point we are 13 seconds in or about $17M spent. For this McCann has given us a definition out of a dictionary. (more…)

Caviar connoisseurs worldwide cringe at the prospect of caviar in a tube. Personally I see it as an alternative way of brushing my teeth.

Creepy much? What is that stuff they put on the bread because it sure doesn’t look like any caviar I have ever seen. What kind of child is going to put that into their mouth? I remember being a kid. Hell it wasn’t that long ago. I know that I wouldn’t eat that stuff much less dance about it after eating. It does, however, speak volumes about European oral hygiene. (more…)

No seriously, did you realize the Women’s World Cup was going on?

I’ve always thought that Dwight deserved a little more face time for his efforts on The Office. Before you correct me, understand that I am fully aware that his real name is Rainn Wilson. I simply do not care. To me he is, and always will be, Dwight K. Schrute - paper salesman extraordinaire. What he’s doing here with Brandi Chastain and crew I will never know. Excuse me? She’s no longer on the team? Well at least Mia Hamm will be keeping him company then, right? Not her either? Oh well, at least I used to know two of their names. (more…)

In what sick, twisted world do you live where removing commercials from youtube gets you more viewers?

Sorry for the repeat post, but for whatever reason FX decided to declare terms of use violations on all of the Mac v. PC “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” spoof commercials. This confuses me to no end. Do you really just want to make people mad when they can’t find your content? And better yet, do you want to piss off all the bloggers (and there were a lot of us) who had these videos linked in their posts? (more…)